A mirror!

It was about 9:30 pm 28th march 2006..

I was walking with a close friend of mine to the OAT to see the last PAF(performing arts festival) of the year. Primary aim was to see if the PAF would make putches here and there so that we would win a second prize in the competition. Even as I stood outside the gates at around 9:45 pm I am sure I was not expecting to see the best production ever. Not that I doubted the talents of the teams involved. It was just a plain competitive spirit. A not so good one at that. Wanting to see the other fail so that I win. Anyways.. I realised in around 15 mins into the PAF that "dejavu" was gonna be an event. A landmark which will stay and raise those inevitable questions of aim, motive and desirability at each and every competition held here.

In one of my previous blogs I had written about the unending search for beauty that actually drives people unknowingly. Anshul Singhal, the story conceptualisation brain behind the PAF, surely had a very clear drive. A passion which I had always seen in him. When Kasturi(last year's 4-8-12 PAF) failed, I had seen those clouds of dissatisfaction shrouding him. That beautiful image that he wanted to see was shattered. But tonite as the crowd began applauding at the end of the PAF seeing which he started crying, I knew for sure that there was one satisfied man in the crowd. A man who dreamed, who thought different, who worked differently and who touched each and every person differently. Leaving a typical Singhal signature on each and every bit of the satisfied crowd.

I was rejoiced. I had never seen a more beautiful PAF all thru my stay in IIT. The simplicity in the complex method Singhal used to depict each and every aspect in his dream production was like a wave of thoughts each reaching you, touching you and perfectly synchronising with and making way for the next wave. Today was definately a dream come true for me. I had seen a PAF that I definately would rate above many movies I have seen in the recent past.

A very daring PAF some might say, but I will stand by my statement that it was a very wisely chosen topic touching the right nerve of the viewers. The general IITian would definately have got sweeped by the topic's sensitivity and its association with each and every one of them. It was story for them by one amongst them. It was a perfect entertainer and a perfect eye opener. If it still shone no light on you, u might as well go get urself admitted into a mental hospital.

In short I wouldnt mind calling this PAF a mirror. Each person who looked into it saw himself standing there, smiling in the broad daylight and the pleasant moonlight while crying about the red-light side that was to be the hidden side of each person.

Each person has his own share of problems, be that the teacher or the student. Each person must see his image and the image of his neighbour and try helping them. The PAF seriously helped me. I hope it does touch you. Take care. Bye..

Love and Cigarettes?!?!

This incident happened loooong back in my life.. well, not so long actually.. four-five years back. But it seems like eons to me now. Maybe coz of the radical changes that happened to me since then I guess. I was in eleventh grade in St. Thomas Residential School , a very prestigious school in my city. I was sitting on a concrete bench by the beautifully maintained front garden of my school with a respected senior of mine.

I dunno why he was famous or revered, but he was. He was kinda the quintessential heart throbe of the loved-by-all beautiful gals in the campus. All gals had a crush on him. He was their hero. He was the typical NRI mallu. Rich, spoilt, handsome, cheerful.. blah blah blah..

We were sitting together and I wasnt exactly the studious kind either. So he dint quite hate me. It would be hard to say he respected me either, but then the moment had some speciality. For, he felt like talking to me and was in a mood to give me some "gyaan". About life and about his attitude, which he considered ,like any other campus hero, to be a very beautiful one.

It happened coz I asked him why he liked smoking. Oh yea, forgot to say that. He was smoking. He was taking long draughts from a RED he was holding. The famous marlboro reds were even more famous in the locality coz it was hard to lay hands on. Globalisation was slow to hit my city maybe. Or was it coz of the low market it had? well,not because it was very costly compared to the rest instead because it was famous and so people hesitated to have one. It was a pressure to be using one because else , once u start using it, u will be categorised as the uber rich and it will be difficult to maintain the standards in the other associated fields like owning a cool imported car and costly shoes and goggles and other accessories and all. I guess its still hard to find marlboros down there. Anyways, he said:
" its a style statement for me. Besides I love smoking. Started it when I was back in Dubai." (which incidentally meant he started smoking when he was in third grade. But I chose not to question him. He was a famous figure. Questioning him might have put me in the above mentioned group I feared.)

But then, he did not stop there. He went on to tell me how many things he does reflect the same ideas, about maintaining the iconic image and all. Then, all of a sudden a famous chick in the campus came and sat on his other side and gave him a peck on his cheek. It was me who blushed and not him. She told him something about meeting him sometime in the evening after tuitions or something which I heard obviously acting as though I did not. They looked cute together. She was his current gal. Yea, current.

He was famous for having had affairs with atleast 4-5 girls in the campus. She left with her friends soon after the short "show of love". Did I not see atleast two of her friends blushing just like me? I dunno. I had the impression I did. Anyways, as soon as she left , he looked at me and obviously noticing the expression on my face said, "relax.. she asked me and not u" :D

Well, I had to ask him something. The light mood that he was obviously in gave me the chance and I took it. I asked him, " Are u people in love?"

He took a full fledged breath and stretched back a bit and for the first time showing a sign of shyness told me,"yes, we are in love".

The answer confused me. Because I distinctly remembered him telling the same thing about another gal to a friend of mine two three weeks back at somewhat the same spot. I was not afraid to point that out to him.

Then came the statement that I remembered for a long time after that. I still do. And that is why I am blogging this. I dunno what prompted him. Maybe the presence of a fast finishing cigarette in his hand or maybe the thought of the other gal or both. He said " Love is like a cigarette." I was again feeling lost. I did not quite grasp the meaning of what he said. I frankly said that to him expecting an explanation to satiate the questions that arised now in my mind. Mind you, I was not the kinda person constantly in search for wisdom or anything. Just that the topic, love, was amusing to me. It always is, guess, for a teenager trying to understand the difference between love and what he feels when he sees every other good looking gal. He told me that love is a feeling that burns inside you when u see that special someone (or the group of ppl maybe for him,i thought privately!) and then there is bliss. You love every second of it. It burns in you for some time until u begin to lose interest after some time. You know you cant have it forever,it will end.Once it does, you crave for another one.The new one feels exactly the same or even better at times , just like a cigarette. And hence, he concluded solemnly, "Love is like a cigarette."

He left after saying that leaving me pondering over what he just said. Why was I getting the feeling that I did not understand what he said? Was he wrong? Or was it because I was not a smoker and so would not understand? I left the question un answered then. I had tuitions to go to myself.

But now, I smoke and I am in love. And I chanced to remember that statement once again coz of some personal reason of mine today, while I was in class tightly gripping the pack of goldflakes in my pocket craving to come out of class and smoke.

And I guess I do understand now why my heart refused to accept the statement then. It was not because I wasnt a smoker then. It was coz I wasnt in love then. I did not know what love meant. I know now that Love can never be disgraced by comparing it to something as low as a cigarette. It sure does burn inside you but gives you that warmth and guides you. If a cigarette could be like Love, it would cost a fortune to own one, coz it will never end. Love lacks reason. Once you do you can never tread back. It is a very pure emotion well mistaken with infatuation. The momentary lure to a beautiful member of the opposite sex for a heterosexual and to one of the same sex for a homosexual is kinda genetic or innate. The crave to hold, to be with and to enjoy will always be there. But, that is not what love is. Love is when you know you are sure. You never will say I dont love you anymore. Never that you are no longer worth me. Coz nothing can pay for Love. Love is priceless. You might be disappointed in your love, you might want changes,but then, is not satisfaction yet another of those deep deep set feelings? When you love someone it is for yourself, for your happiness. But then, love is such a beautiful wonder that for your happiness you would start wanting to see the other one happy. Again, its your happiness that counts to you. Love should and will always remain pure, unending and would not expect results or for that matter anything at all. Its not a material relationship. Nor is it a deal made by human hands. Its the Artist's will . Oh yea, I believe in God!

Well, my thoughts. You may beg to differ. I am open to ideas. Mind is a slate. Changes can be made with a loving stroke!!! More so for me, I am a peaceful chap! Take care all of ya! May God show you your Love soon! Have a nice day!

aye(I) aye(I) , (T)eacher!!!

At 8:30 in the morning I dint know that i was going to sit in a class today which had no academic content whatsoever! Not something that obvious. Nobody would have thought of something of that sort!

But when I sat in class 17(or watever!) of my department waiting for yet another lecture on all the crazy spin orbital coupling and splitting and what not, I dint expect , though I was sure he could, my professor to engage in an informal chat with us on the sad scenario of academics in our department and IITs in general.


Well. It all started when he noticed that the number of students in the class was a bit low while taking attendance. Mind ya, students were not absent. They were in the coffee shack. They would reach in another 15 minutes. Everybody knew that. Even the professor. So he, being the most amazing chap that he is, decided to share a joke or two with us. He said something but I dint notice coz I was as usual engaged with my Fountainhead which I was obviously finding more interesting than anything that was going on in the class. If at all I was getting distracted, it was coz of the occassional drumming sprees that DOS would come up with. Mind you, even that was far more interesting than the whole teaching process going on up front.

"There was this interesting article on a survey on IITs in mumbai mirror" . I heard my atomic and molecualr physics professor saying. My head went up. Any such topic enthuses me.
"It was on the level of happiness of students in IITs by professor Tanmay Bhattacharya of HSS deptt." He said in his typical bong accent. I love bongs for some particular reason these days.:D

I listened with all possible alertness I could muster. He continued, " They said that their survey showed that IITB students are least happy while IITK ones are the most happy guys around." He said that the reason cited by the surveyors was that: " There is nothing outside kanpur and kaharaghpur IITs and other IITs while bombay has lot many things to offer which the students are missing due to academic pressure which makes bombay students sad!"

Are these the only reasons? How accurate is the survey? How can they judge our happiness? How succesfully can a questionnaire filled by IITians casually be trusted to pass a judgement like this.

Well. Speaking of other reasons, the students came up with atleast 4-5 more of them when my professor asked for it more as a gesture rather than actually asking for any! He himself came up his observation that the faculty might be failing somehow to catch the students interests. He asked us for the possible reasons for this. I could see the pain, the desperation and fear of failure in his eyes. It was not a simple question he was putting forward. It was more of an expression of the pain he faced as a professor. The passion with which he chose the teaching profession (unlike many other professors who landed up being professors!) was clear for all to see. I felt bad.

But I dont regret my ways. My not so studious approach these days has its own reasons. He rightly was talking my mind when he said that the reason of academic failures of students was that they come to IIT only with the dream of clearing JEE which they took as a challenge. And then, the moment they are here they tend to relax and lose aim and in the process screw up the first two semesters which believe it or not form the foundation for the years to come! Then on , its a chain reaction. Either they try real hard after that making up for all the loss or else end up being like me! Complacency and procastrination rules my academic schedule! How so disgusted do I feel about it. Well, leave it at that.

There are other reasons obviously. Just like there are always other wishes in a young child's mind. The pathetic state of teaching is one of the most important ones. Teaching is an art. Though I am not accomplished or in any state to comment on it I have my opinions just like any other village fool's on the reasons for a Tsunami. The teacher should more than just teach perform his part. He should ensnare the senses of his audience. He should take each and every one with him. He is not performing for the select few in the front rows. Yes, there are always the spoilsport crowd of backbenchers (not necessarily backbenchers and not necessarily all backbenchers.. its more like an imagery!) But I believe even they can be trapped by the effortless artist's performance if he is creative and aesthetic enough.

Then there are the TAs. God! I guess I dont have to say more about them. Any student who has faced any of the dunderheads seen in plenty in various labs provided as samples of how- one-must- not- turn- out- to- be would agree to it when I say that they are failures of the whole educational system. I even doubt wether the system is corrupt. Are they taking bribes and letting them enter. Or are the physics lab TAs chosen by english professors. I dunno. I will always wait for an answer to this I guess.They are moronically mechanical and boring and confusing and confused and.. and.. and.. I am lost for words to describe them. They are so precious. :P

Then came up the issues on flexibility of course structure. Why cant they (I dunno who exactly I am refering to here! anyways whoever wants to take up reponsibilty may do so! if they happen to read this that is.. which I dont expect.. so nevah mind.. lets just say "they".. the criminals, the wrong doers..:P) just make life a whole lot simpler for us ,aspiring engineers ,by letting us to do what we want to rather than what they want us to! Why does the mistake that we did by chosing one department or course due to our sheer ignorance of details of what goes on inside have to linger with us all through our precious college life?! Why cant we chose a multidisciplinary educational style.

Lets just study the boogey trap: (courtesy mah friend Ankur Dubey)

Say, a student likes a particular subject very much. He scores well and is outstanding in it. But he doesnt like and doesnt want to care about the other subjects. He gets low and pathetic grades in them. The overall score card is abysmal but he is happy. He hopes he will go ahead and pursue a detailed study in the field he liked. He tries taking an elective in that particular topic. He faces the committee. They , in a single merciless stroke, slash is dreams and turns him down. Why? coz he cant take the load according to them. I merely would say, What The Holy Fuck!

Who was wrong? what was wrong? where is the mistake? I guess I will never know. Sad part is, that poor guy might just end up with someone like me, who has no interest in anything at all. Well though, I have an interest. I might just be happy doing some interior designing or maybe open a restaurant. I love working. I dont really care the pay package. I dont want to be rich and affluent. I want to be happy! Never mind.

Thanks for reading through. Have a nice day. Take care.

general fart!

Arbit quotes. All mine. So might not make sense here and there. Just ignore!

1) I was in a very destructive mood, so i chose to wake up!

2) Water quenches my thirst and smoke, my mind's!

3) Trees are beautiful , weed is heavenly!

4) I drink glucose and run; i weed and fly!

5) The road lies ahead of me, if only i could open my eyes and stand up!

6) Ah well, why the hell are successful people said to be going down in the history!

7) I need capital, to cap it all!

8) My gal is good, whose line is she anyways! :P

.....

take care all of ya! god! its 2:50 am.. i gotta sleep now!

café

During those initial days of my second year in college mah mind would say to me:

Getting up at 8:00 in the morning is one difficult task. Going to a class where you are sure to doze off is even more difficult.

Times change and so did mah mind's stand. Beginning of the third year:

Getting up at 8:15 is shitty maan.Damn the strict attendance rule. But aha, whom do they think they are pitted against! I will go there are and rest (rust!) in peace.

Time dint stop there either. Neither did mah poor mind. Second semester of third year:

God! It's 8:25. F**k, I am surely not gonna make it in time for da attendance.. chuck it! lets sleep for some more time. (ten mins later..) God! I have to go. Or, should I just stay?! well. I guess I should. (packing bag..) "where da fuck is my Fountainhead?!". Mind ya, not Q mech books, nor Statistical mechanics books nor the damned electromagnetic theory and condensed matter physics books but Fountainhead.

Fountainhead has quite captured my thoughts these days. Mind ya , Iam no voracious reader. Still I loved its way of presentation and the matter itself. I havent yet reached the interesting parts of the story but I am finding myself pretty enthused. I am loving Howard Roark. I feel Henry Cameron cudve been exploited more though. Dunno if there is more of him ahead. Anyways, wud love it if he gets back to the centre of action.

But yea, the reason why i blogged is not cause i wanted to say about any of these.

I just wanted to say that I went and had two cups of coffee with DOS at gulmohar today in the evening and i just loved it. Nothing can be compared to good ol' coffee maaan! I love coffee!

hola.. good times maan!

Whiff.. whiff..

I could hardly get enough of that life saving oxygen as I climbed the narrow winding sideroad leading to the Hotel Padmini Nivas,a summer retreat that passed through many royal hands only to be converted into a pleasant resort in the so-called queen of hills, Mussoorie!But I knew I had to go on. I had to reach the reception and confirm my booking.I had to check into the amazing ambience that will serve as my most memorable holiday experience ever!





If you by any chance got to see a hungry tiger pouncing on a wholesome deer, you will understand it when I say that I felt like eating up Mussoorie.. each bit of it! It was my first hill station experience and God knows it was hell lotta fun! :)

The trip flagged off with me going to delhi on an amazingly boring train that crawled like a snail. Local transport buses back in my state would at times not stop for people who wanted to enter. But this one, this amazing dadar-amritsar "express" was certainly an "express"ion of politeness.
It literally stopped for each and every person who wanted to enter I guess. It stopped at the simplest of hand signals. God!

Anyways.. finally i reached New Delhi station. And in another 2 hours time my girl and I set out for the above said mussoorie trip. The travel to Doon was loooooong..A 7 and half hrs journey instead of a normal 6 hrs one. Then a scary bus ride up the hilly road that lead us to Mussoorie. Sunlight fast disappeared and all that was left in the bus that could be called a source of light was the red LED like dot from driver's beedi which incidentally he lit leaving the steering wheel all to itself on a winding mountainous road leaving us both shell shocked! And we had to sit in the first row! But whatever, the old chap was an amazing driver. Some maneuvers were actually breathtaking. Had fun, in short.

Then finally we reached our resort and gosh. We were happy! hell ya! Amazing room with a panoramic view of the mall road and the surrounding beautiful steppe cultivated land. Staying in the plush, cozy interiors was a much better and an obvious choice over facing the cold and the rain outside . On top of that it was a suite. Should I say more? Ekdum royal ishtyle! Only sad part was that they wud serve us veggie food. But then, there is always the better option. Go out and hog! And that is exactly what we did. First we tried some of the restaurants in hotels that were already known to us thanks to the ground work we did before hand. But then, they were expensive and would really prove to be a big pocket burner. And then we set out in search of these two restaurants our extra polite receptionists suggested called the Tavern and The Four Seasons. But we didnt want to have food that was offered on menus across the country.We like to try new and different things and going by my girlfriend's suggestion, we chose a Tibetan restaurant. To speak the truth, the place initially looked highly shady to me. But then, the aroma, the magical scent that reached our nose from the food that people around us ate saw to it that we smack our lips every now and then to prevent the river of saliva that was lashing the walls of our mouth in anticipation of tasty food. And then the food came and so did the aroma. But this time around the taste overpowered every other sense . The food was awesome to say the least. We loved every bit of it. No negatives whatsoever! Result: we spent over 300 bucks on each meal there. And 300 bucks is lots of food in a restaurant like that!

Anyways.. other than the food part, I loved the beauty of the place very much. The ropeway travel was fun. The gun point view was also amazing. Wish I had the camera along then. Anyways , wont be able to forget any of the moments spent there.

Will put in some pics taken through the trip soon! Suggesting all of you to go to mussoorie once atleast I am signing off!

Teri Yaad!

Well.. its amazing how a song can entirely describe one persons state of mind ..

ya, its true..

this song by Jal- an amazing band from Pakistan desrcibes my feelings.. its called Teri Yaad..


TERI YAAD
--------------
Teri yaad aye jab mujh ko, main laut aaon ga
woh bheegi yaad aur baarish boondein
main bheeg jaoon gaa

faaslay simat na sakayl raastay jo mitt na sakay
in faaslon ko simtana hai; in raaston pay

yeh dil ki baat, koi jaaney na jaaney; main keh jaoon gaa
woh teray saath guzaaray lamhay, na bhool paoon gaa
jo sapnay sajaye dil se, khushi ke pal; bitaye mil kay

kya paya main ney kya khoya
kab jaga hoon main kab soya

teri har baat rulaye jab mujh ko, main laut aaoon gaa
teri woh chah, sataye jab mujh ko, main kho jaoon ga

well.. courtesy: http://www.muziq.net/lyrics

maan.. I love this song..